Attempt to Kill Kakarott Day
by Verianne
Summary: Title speaks for itself! Set after the Buu Saga.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.

Prologue

The sun peeked out from behind a cloud, shining on a merry gathering. A group of people was having a party, hosted by one Bulma Briefs.

"When's lunch?" The question came from a tall man in an orange gi, and black hair that went every which way.

A woman with her black hair in a tight bun sighed. She looked up from the bowl she was mixing. "Goku, I told you. You can eat in five minutes or so."

"Aw, but I'm hungry." Goku was cut off by a glare from the woman, Chi- chi. "Uh, going now." He ran off before she could say anything else.

"You really should pay more attention to your surroundings."

"Gah!" Goku jumped in the air and quickly spun around. He found a woman with straight blonde hair and icy blue eyes. "Oh, Eighteen! When did you get here?"

"That's my point." Eighteen crossed her arms. "If I were an enemy, it'd be pitifully easy to ambush you."

"But you're not." He scratched the back of his head, not understanding.

The woman rolled her eyes to the sun, which had escaped the cloud it had been covered by. "If I was. My point is, you never pay attention to your surroundings."

"I agree with the tin can." A male voice came from behind Goku, who jumped and spun again.

A man slightly shorter than himself with a shok of flame- shaped hair was watching a head of blue hair in a small crowd of their friends. He had his arms crossed and his back to Goku.

"Oh, Vegeta! Don't call Eighteen that, it's not nice!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Well, maybe?" He shrugged.

"Welcome to 'that was a rhetorical question, Kakarott!'"

"Oh." Pausing, he appeared to think something over. "Uh, what did you mean when you said you agreed with Eighteen?"

Vegeta took a deep breath to calm himself, then turned around slowly. "I meant", he began, schooling himself to patience, "you pay no attention to anything around you. You could take a ki blast to the back before you realized something was there!"

"What? No, I'd notice!" Just then, a ki blast hit Goku in the back. Vegeta held a hand over his mouth, hiding his smirk, but it showed in his eyes.

"Hey!" Goku exclaimed. He looked around for the culprit, and his eyes settled on the android, who had her hand held out in his direction. He was rewarded with a kick to his side that sent him flying. "Vegeta!"

Phasing back to his previous spot, he asked, "What was that for? Is it Attack Goku Day or something?"

"It would be Kill Kakarott Day if we were your enemies!" Vegeta stated, tilting his chin up.

"Oh, great. Is that a holiday of everyone who's tried to kill Goku getting another crack at it?" A new voice made a sarcastic comment, causing everyone to turn to the source.

"Namek, that just might be the best idea that's come out of you mouth yet", Vegeta replied.

"Wouldn't that upset quite a few people, though?" Eighteen questioned. "For example, your wife?"

Vegeta held a hand to his forehead. "Less Kill Kakarott Day, than Attempt to Kill Kakarott Day. It would give the oaf a bit of practice, at any rate."

"Hey, that's a good idea!" The subject of the proposed holiday tapped a finger on his cheek. "I'm not gettig killed, though, right? 'Cause I can't be revived. I think."

"No, Goku", Piccolo sighed. "You are not. That can be a rule. Don't actually kill you."

"Oh, great! So, should I go tell..."

Vegeta slapped a hand over his mouth, effactively silencing Goku. "No. We are not telling anyone. They'll just try to stop us." He shifted position so he was facing everyone else. "The last day of every month, I suppose. We'll meet somewhere different every time, to minimize the chance of getting caught."

"So we're actually doing this." It was less a question then a statement, and it came from Eighteen.

"It would appear so", Piccolo answered.

"All right then!" Goku clapped his hands together a few times. "So, how about the place where I first met Vegeta? And-"

"And I tried to kill you?" said person finished. "Does the bucket of bolts know where it is?"

"Yes, I do", said Eighteen, slightly miffed at the insult. "It's in my information banks. I would assume you knew that, considering the way you act."

Before Vegeta thought up a suitable retort, Piccolo spoke. "Fine then. Let's break this little gathering up before someone comes over to check on what we're saying."

Vegeta and Eighteen both gave a curt nod, and Goku clapped his hands again.

"We'll see each other at the and of this month, then", he finished.

"Goku! Dinner!" Chi- chi's shout gave Goku a start, and he ran off towards her. The rest of them followed in a slightly more dignified way.

AN: Alright, then. That's the prologue!

Goku: Wait, if it's for people who tried to kill me, then-

Vegeta: Shut UP, Kakarott!

Goku: But I was just-

Vegeta: JUST SHUT UP, MORON!


	2. The First AtKKD

The First Attempt to Kill Kakarott Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.

Ten Days Earlier

"Why do you need Senzu beans?" the cat asked.

"Why does it matter?" Vegeta retorted. "Now give me four of them before I blast your scrawny backside off this ridiculous tower of yours!"

"All right, I suppose." Korin went to get a few beans, trying not to show how intimidated he was of the Saiyan. After all, his ego was large enough as it is…

The prince sighed. He didn't need anyone poking their nose into his business, not now.

Present Day

The blazing sun scorched the rocky landscape, hardly deterred by the intermittent cloud cover. Near a particularly strange stone formation that resembled a lopsided column, three beings stood, arms crossed, seeming expectant.

"He's late."

"I can see that, Namek."

"Perhaps he is nervous. After all, he is probably going to come close to death."

"Hn. He shouldn't be afraid. It'll only benefit him in the end."

Five Minutes Later

"I'm here!" yelled Goku. He landed on the ground a few feet away from the small gathering, his boots stirring up a bit of dust.

"Kakarott. You are fifteen minutes late", Vegeta told him, irritated.

"Oh. Heh." Goku scratched the back of his head, annoying Vegeta even more. That was something a Saiyan should under no condition do. "Well, you see, I had to avoid Goten, 'cause he'd ask me where I was going, and I don't wanna lie to him."

"And it took you fifteen minutes." The prince rolled his eyes to the clouds.

"Well, Goku's here now", Piccolo cut in. "We should start."

"Hold on one second." Vegeta stepped off to the side, and stowed away a small brown bag in a hole below one of the rocks.

"So. You actually got those", Eighteen observed.

"Shut up. We're supposed to be fighting him", and at this point Vegeta gestured towards Goku", not each other."

"Uh, do we just start?" asked said Saiyan.

"We might want to, I don't know; get away from the Senzu beans first?"

"Oh! Yeah, good idea, Vegeta!" With that, he blasted off to find a safe spot. The other three followed close behind.

When they arrived at what was deemed a safe location, all four landed softly. There weren't too many rock formations around, but there were more a short distance away. The place resembled a bowl with a few things in it. Suddenly, Piccolo realized something.

"Won't the others sense our raised kis and wonder what's going on?" he asked. "I suppose Goku and Vegeta sparring is normal enough, and they won't check if they don't transform, but I'm here, too."

"We'll just deal with that when the time comes", Vegeta said impatiently. "Can we start?"

"Fine", Piccolo conceded. "But there should be a few more rules, otherwise this will just end up as a free- for- all. Vegeta, Eighteen. You will not attack each other or I, and I will not attack either of you." The former growled. Ignoring him, the Namekian continued. "Only one of us fights him at a time, since Goku won't transform. Neither will Vegeta." The Saiyan growled again. "We'll take a break after fifteen minutes, then be can think on the rules again."

"Yes, yes, next you'll be telling us not to use ki blasts!" The comment came from Vegeta, who threw up his hands, exasperated. "Let's just start!"

"Alright!" Goku exclaimed. "I'm ready! So who's attacking me fir- oof!" He was cut off mid- sentence as Vegeta plowed into him, throwing him against a rock tower, causing it to come crashing down. Vegeta flew through the dust in pursuit.

"He's attacking first then", Eighteen remarked. She brushed a strand of hair off her face.

After a moment, Vegeta rocketed out of the dust, thrown into the sky by a quick Kamehameha. The android flicked her left earring, then jumped off the ground and flew into the sky. The moment Goku appeared, she flew towards him, startling the Saiyan.

Goku blocked a blast that came his way, then threw a punch Eighteen ducked under. She took the moment to try and catch him in the stomach, but he twisted out of the way and fired a ki blast into her back. She recovered quickly, but it was too late as Piccolo phased into the spot she'd been in a moment before.

"Oh, blast it!" yelled Vegeta. He's been ready to jump back in, but had momentarily forgotten about the Namek.

"It's the rule", Eighteen said unhelpfully, brushing off dust.

"Yes, that he made!" Groaning, Vegeta crossed his arms and leaned against a large boulder that used to be part of the formation that he threw Goku into. He tilted his head up to watch the fight.

Caught by surprise, Goku had been slow to respond to the barrage of ki balls that came his way. One caught him in the side, he blocked the next, barely dodged the third, and was knocked onto his back by the fourth. Luckily, he was in the air, so no harm done. At that point, he just plowed through them and tried to catch Piccolo with a double- fisted punch. However, his opponent saw it coming, and was only caught by one of his fists.

That was enough, though, for him to smash a hand into Piccolo's side. Even as the green- skinned man regained his bearings, he was passed by two streaks.

Vegeta and Eighteen cast a dirty glance at each other. Both wanted to get to Goku first, so they sped up. The woman changed direction, hoping to instill a moment of confusion so she could get to their opponent first. Vegeta ignored it, and came up in front of his rival.

He dodged a kick, then pushed a hand into Goku's face. It had the desired effect, causing the other Saiyan to start, so he stopped pretending to throw a ki blast and used both feet to kick Goku towards the ground.

Wasting no time, he sped towards the falling figure, but someone else had gotten there already.

Piccolo intercepted Goku's course and grabed him by the shirt. As he recovered his wits, Goku found two hands in his face.

"Masenko- HA!" he heard. And felt. He was sent sailing through another stone structure, but his flight was cut short as he heard another voice yell out an attack.

"Photon Flash!" Android Eighteen fired a yellow blast of energy at her airborne adversary. She didn't stop to see if it hit, but immediately took off after him lest on of the others get to him first. As she flew, she took a quick glance around to see if either Piccolo or Vegeta was around. The latter was heading towards the same target, who was now sailing into a large pile of rock. They had entered the area where there were more obstacles. Wait, where was-

"Makankouseppou!" Oh. There.

"What the- gah!" came Goku's voice. There was a loud bang, and rock flew everywhere.

"Where is he?" Piccolo muttered, mostly to himself. "I know that didn't hit, now where is he..."

"Meha!" A huge beam of blue- white energy shot at him, and he quickly realized Goku must have been charging it while the noise from the explosion covered it up. Knocked back into the ground, he watched as Vegeta outpace Eighteen to Goku and threw a barrage of ki blasts.

Tired from the energy he put in, Goku couldn't block a lot of them and was smacked to the ground himself. He stood up, and looked just in time to see Vegeta's Final Flash heading towards him quickly.

While she was irritated at Vegeta beating her to Goku again, Eighteen couldn't help but think the crater was quite impressive. It had to hurt, that was for sure. She could still sense his ki, though. It was getting higher, too.

He sensed Kakarott's ki rising. Charging one of those- what were they called? The idiot really should get a new one, since everyone knew about this one. Wait, that was a lot of power. Oh no. He quickly phased a distance away.

"HA!" While the beam was impressive, Goku hadn't noticed his target's ki move. The energy wave was on its way towards someone else.

"Android Barrier!"

Piccolo watched as the Kamehameha collided with Eighteen's technique. Since Goku had put practically all his remaining energy into it, his attack was slowly overpowering the android's. Then, as a last- ditch effort, he saw her let go of her attack, and phase away as quickly as possible. Goku's attack still hit her, but not with as much force. That was still a lot.

When the dust cleared, he squinted and tried to make out where Eighteen was. Quite a distance away, she was sitting on the ground, trying to recover. He could also see Vegeta in the opposite direction.

While Vegeta avoided the attack itself, he hadn't been spared the shockwave that accompanied it. He mentally cursed Kakarott, though not with much energy. He didn't have much to spare.

Three Minutes Later

"Ah, that was a good fight!" Goku exclaimed after swallowing his Senzu bean.

"I have a question. Why didn't you use Instant Transmission?" Eighteen asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Goku scratched the back of his head, then answered. "Well, that wouldn't really have been fair. You guys can't do that, so I didn't use it. We can all use ki blasts and stuff like that, though, so they're fine."

"Not to mention the stupid technique of yours would have been extremely annoying", added Vegeta. He adjusted one of his gloves. "By the way, your clothes are torn."

"Eh, it's fine. Piccolo can make clothes."

The subject of the statement sighed. "Yes, I'm the tailor. Excellent."

AN: Well, that's it for that chapter! I'd like it if you reviewed. I'm pretty sure I spelled something wrong in there somewhere.

Goku: I'm thirsty.

Piccolo: Well, so am I. And I think I need water more than you do.


	3. The Third AtKKD

The Third Attempt to Kill Kakarott Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.

The second holiday of such went much like the first. They chose a spot in the mountains near the remains of Dr. Gero's lab. All of them were beaten up, especially Goku, but Senzu beans weren't brought for nothing.

By the third one, they started to run into problems.

Ten Days Earlier

"Vegeta, you're asking for Senzu beans again, aren't you?" Korin asked. He didn't need to guess, since this was the third time he'd come to the tower on the last day of the month.

"Yes, I am", he replied, then sighed. "You have some?"

"I do. But", he said, holding up one paw, "you must tell me just why you need them. I can't just keep giving them away, you know. What if there's an emergency?"

Vegeta's perpetual scowl deepened. "If you don't bring me them, I'll make an emergency!" he told the cat.

"But why?" Korin persisted.

The prince growled. "Just get me the blasted beans!" he yelled.

"All right, all right. I'm getting them."

Twenty Minutes Ago, Capsule Corp

"Look, Vegeta. I'm not stupid!" Bulma said. "You're going somewhere again, and again, it's the last day of the month!" She'd caught her husband sneaking off, and was quite annoyed.

"It's none of your business, so stop poking your ugly nose in it!" Vegeta told her.

"Sure." She fixed him with a glare.

"Stay out of my business!" He blasted off into the air, out of Bulma's sight before she could blink. "Insufferable woman", he muttered.

Goku and Chi- chi's House

Chi- chi sighed exasperatedly. "Sparring with Vegeta again?" she asked, sure there was something going on, but not sure what it was.

"Uh, yeah!" Goku responded. "Sparring. Bye, then!" He ran into the woods a short distance, then flew into the sky, leaving a white trail that lasted for a second.

"There's something up", she said to herself.

Beach

"I have somewhere to go."

"Hm? It's only been two hours", said Krillin.

"You know I dislike the beach", Eighteen returned. "Besides, this is quite important…"

"Well, all right. I suppose you've put up with little ol' me long enough." He smiled, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and was rewarded with a small smile that lit up her face.

"Thank you, Krillin." Walking down the coastline, she looked back once before lifting off into the sky.

She flew for a minute, remembering where the place Kami's spaceship used to be. It wasn't in her files, but Krillin had shown her where it was a while back when he was telling her about his adventures on Namek. She'd known the general idea of the trip, but it was nice having details.

"Android." The voice shook her out of her thoughts. Part of her brain immediately classified it as Piccolo.

"What is it?" Eighteen asked him.

"Tell the others I can't come this time", he told her. "Gohan asked me the other day about why I was around Goku and Vegeta more than usual. It'll be suspicious."

She nodded. "Very well. What will we do about the clothes?"

"They won't need me to do it. No one will sense my ki, since I won't be there. They'll just think Goku and Vegeta are sparring again. That's why I can't go." The Namekian snorted. "You're lucky in that regard; you don't have a ki signature."

"I will inform them", she said.

"Good."

Present Day

"Hi Vegeta!" Goku waved at him. "I'm down here!"

"I can see that", Vegeta replied gruffly. He landed next to his rival. "So, seems we're waiting for green man and the computer."

"I'm sure Piccolo and Eighteen'll come soon!" he told the prince cheerfully. "We just have to wait a minute!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes up to the sky. Or rather, a tree.

After a minute, Android Eighteen landed a few feet away from them. "Piccolo will not be coming this time", she told them. "He believed it would be too suspicious."

"Oh", said Goku simply, looking a bit sad. He hadn't been having a good day, since he couldn't tell Chi- chi where he was going truthfully. Now Piccolo couldn't come.

"I hate to be the one to interrupt, but what about the extremely small matter of our clothes?" Vegeta asked with no small amount of sarcasm lacing his tone.

"I wouldn't think you'd need to know, considering it's such a small matter", she said, before continuing more seriously. "As Piccolo said to me, because he is not here and I do not have a ki signature, it will seem like a normal spar between you."

"Hn." He turned away.

"So, we start?" Goku asked.

"I already put the Senzu beans in a safe spot, Kakarott. We can start."

"Alright!" Jumping into the air, Goku took a fighting stance. "Who's first?"

"I am." Before Eighteen could respond, Vegeta was going after the other Saiyan, and fired of a ki blast.

Goku dodged the blast, and tried to elbow Vegeta, who blocked it. He then threw a punch, but spun around at the last moment. Vegeta was caught off guard, and had to shoot up in the air quickly to dodge the follow- up kick.

"Galick Gun, fire!"

"Aaah!" Goku flew off to the side, but the beam followed him. As he flew around, he silently charged a Kamehameha, which, while it took a lot of concentration, was possible.

"HA!" A blue- white beam shot out of his hands, meeting Vegeta's purple one.

The problem with the Galick Gun, the prince thought, was that he couldn't add more energy to it while he used it. As his opponent's attack slowly overcame his, he felt a twinge of annoyance. He'd have to dodge it.

A moment after he had that thought, he stopped putting his energy into his blast, and rocketed away as quickly as possible. The- what was its name- Kakarott's attack crashed into a hill and turned it into a pile of rubble. It had missed him by a hair's breadth.

As he cleared the dust cloud, he saw Kakarott, with that stupid dopey grin on his face, just as always.

"Nice try", he told him, after panting a bit.

Nice try? The twinge turned into something much bigger. Vegeta sneered.

"Hey, shouldn't Eighteen be- gah!" The other Saiyan had to block the woman's attack.

Oh, so her attacks were good enough to block, but not his? His could just be dodged? His wife's suspicion was still weighing heavily on him, as he knew he'd be in for an earful as soon as he got back. How could Kakarott be so cheerful all the time?

It grated on his nerves. This was supposed to be a release for all his stress, but it wasn't working!

He focused his eyes just in time to see a few of his rival's ki blasts being deflected by a large, inflating barrier while the android backpedaled. After a moment he came to the conclusion he'd better block now, or else he'd be hit by-

"Agh!" The combined attack and defense expanded to the point where it hit him. That hurt, not that he'd admit it.

He'd wanted to dodge that! He felt his ki rising, along with the thought he was being irrational in his anger, but it went unheeded.

Goku stood in a crater with his arms crossed, defending against the last attack. Quite a few of his blasts had bounced back to his direction.

"Wow! That was good!" he said, then hopped into the air again. It sucked to not be able to sense Eighteen's ki. He couldn't find her. But at least Vegeta's was easily recognizable… wait. It was rising quickly, and at this rate he'd go Super Saiyan! They never did that for spars without him telling anyone!

Old hurt dredged up. Why did Kakarott and his idiot friends beat him? Why did the low- class become the first Super Saiyan? Beat Frieza? Be better than him? Why- no, he shouldn't be doing this! He'd buried this long ago! But it hurt so much!

"Vegeta! Power down before someone senses you!" His voice. The stupid- no! He was right! He had to power down now!

Goku breathed a sigh of relief as Vegeta got his ki under control. It had been jumping erratically, and he'd been worried for a second.

"If you two have your issue under control, you might want to know your sons are coming here." Android Eighteen's voice cut through his thoughts, and with a start Goku realized she was right. Trunks and Goten were coming!

"Vegeta, Trunks and-"

"YES! I can sense ki, you know!" snapped the Saiyan. "This is supposed to be a normal spar, though, so the machine should get out of here!"

Normally, Eighteen would take offense, but she knew it would be the best course of action. She gave a curt nod, and quickly flew off, making sure to stay close to the ground so as to not be seen by the two youngsters.

Vegeta shook his head to clear his thoughts. What had happened? He had to deal with it later, though, since the two brats were here.

"Hey, dad!" Trunks called, landing lightly and running over to him. Goten flew over to his father, who greeted him and patted him on the head, flattening the spikes, which just popped back up.

"So why are you here?" Goku asked, just as Vegeta said, "What do you want, brats?"

"Well", started Trunks, "I was going over to ask Goten to play with me. Turns out he was actually on his way to ask me the same thing!"

"But I didn't know", Goten added. "So when I saw Trunks wasn't there, I tried sensing him, and he was where I'd just been!"

"You were an idiot for not trying it sooner", the older boy commented.

"Hey! You didn't try it either!"

"You are both fools for not sensing each other the moment you went to find each other." The statement from Vegeta effectively stopped their argument. "Now get to the point."

The two half- Saiyans glanced at each other, and then Trunks continued. "Well, we played all our games the last time we played together, so we didn't know what to do. Then mom told us you two were out sparring. She seemed kind of annoyed, but we just went to find you guys."

A strangled noise came from Vegeta. "You interrupted us just so you could have something to do?" he asked incredulously. "Did you remember what I said I'd do if you ever disturbed my training again?"

The two kids exchanged a nervous glance, then slowly stepped back. Soon it turned into a full blown run, as Vegeta threw ki blasts after them.

"Don't do that", Goku said. "It's not nice."

"Do I look like I care at all? Big Bang Attack!"

"Man, I hope Eighteen is out of the blast zone.."

A Few Miles Away

"Thank you", she said.

A nod. "Something tells me Krillin and your daughter would be a bit curious if you went back like that."

"Something tells me you're right", Eighteen said dryly.

AN: Well, that's all for this chapter, then. Next chapter will be a lot more serious, and even have a bit of plot! Then there'll be two more chapters and an epilogue. What? I don't want this to be another one of those stories I never finish!

Goku: I think the Senzu beans got blown up in your attack.

Vegeta: Hn. Doesn't matter; I wouldn't have used them anyways. Supposed to be a regular spar, remember?

Goku: Oh, right.


End file.
